Your pet does not need a cell phone

Seriously, what the hell? Do we really need a cell phone for dogs? Well, PetsMobility thinks so, as they have introduced PetCell, “a revolutionary waterproof GPS cell phone for your pet.” We really wish this was a joke, but apparently it’s not. Even the paragraph from their website is beyond ridiculous:

Now you can call your pet anytime, just to say hi, or to get off the couch. The collarset will auto answer only the telephone numbers you pre-program, filtering out any unwanted callers.

Well, that leaves us with peace of mind. We wouldn’t want those delinquents down the street prank calling Cujo. Damn kids. The GPS thing we understand. Losing a pet can be an ordeal, but a GPS collar would make the tracking and finding process much easier. That we’re on board with. The phone? Well, we have but one thing to say to that: YOUR PET CANNOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH! Sorry if that seems obvious to you. It does to us, but apparently does not to those at PetsMobility. They do offer a feature that allows anyone finding the pet to call the owner just by pushing the — get this — “Call Owner” button. However, if the thing is GPS-enabled, such a feature shouldn’t be necessary. The owners should be right on the pet’s trail. There is no price listed on the website. However, Switched claims that the device costs $500 — or, in case you’re interested, MORE THAN AN iPHONE! People make us sick sometimes. [Switched]]]>